The world is in shambles, and even before everyone fell into chaos I existed there.
Every time I clawed my way to a new summit it felt as if the wind blew with the sole purpose of pushing me back. Some days I fought against it. Others I clung to the faintest existence of hope until my finger bled and I collapsed into a relapse.
Some days I was the sun in my own world, propelling everyone forward, my heart so full of hope I served to shine onto every struggling person and hopeless heart.
Others I awoke in such a deep crevice of pain that I could barely beg myself to believe that light existed somewhere outside my own soul shattering pain.
There is no cure for this rollercoaster of life. There's no way to snap out of depression so deep it aches in your bones, and even on the best of days there isn't enough love or time to heal everyone my heart holds dear.
There is, however, music. Through every peak and crevice and day of hopeful or hopeless dreams there has always been one way to temporarily cast out every terminal ache and tears of abandoning hope. Forever there has been a song, a piece of someone's soul that they sent out into the universe to fill the gaps in every heart that's scars were still bleeding and healing.
No medication, no therapy, no night of sobbing or screaming can soothe my soul and purge my denoms the way that disappearing into music has.
Sometimes I just need to put in headphones, turn my music up loud enough to drown my own thoughts out, close my eyes, and let everything fade away into nothingness. The music is in my veins, cleansing my hopelessness. The bass is my heartbeat, never fading, never giving out, beating strongly even when minutes earlier I thought it might stop beating forever. Lyrics send a chill down my spine and through my fingers as it purifies my soul and pushes every reality away. A voice whispers prayers into my mind as I disappear into a galaxy free of pain and chaos and hate and where life only exists three minutes at a time before it fades into another melody.
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