Stop Self-Shaming

This morning I was standing in my kitchen making coffee, and honestly feeling bad for myself. I lost my job a few months ago, and finding a new one has been an impossible task so far. I've slowly watched my hard earned savings account wither away and I get to psych myself up to go fold sweaters for not enough money an hour.

After a minute I wagged my finger at myself. How dare I. I'm engaged to the most perfect man in the world, I have a loving family, and my life hasn't been too derailed by unemployment. I mentally scolded myself for the self-pitying moment when, all in all, my life is overall good.

As I stood listening to my coffee drip into the cup, I got mad at myself for an entirely new reason. How dare I! Its not a sin to be unhappy. Its okay to be unhappy about the unhappy parts of your life. We all have them, and its healthy to mope a bit over your morning cup of cinnamon dolce brew.

Taking a moment to let out your stress and frustration over the not so perfect stuff in your life does not take away from the great parts of it. We're all allowed to wallow a bit and feel down in the dumps. You can cry in the shower, and hit an extra snooze in the morning because you feel like crap. We all need those little moments.

Sometimes, allowing yourself to spend a few moments in a state of despair or sadness or pity can help you appreciate the blessings around you. Yes, I am unemployed and verging on broke and pretty depressed about it, but thank god I have a sweet man who makes me smile in spite of all of that. Finding something to laugh about feels a little bit sweeter.

So stop shaming yourself. Take a minute to be sad, then find a lot of things to laugh about.

Feminism, Terrorism, and Thin Mints

I have been told, on more than one occasion, that I am a terrorist to feminism. Um, a little harsh right? I earned this malicious moniker for a mildly ridiculous reason. My alleged 'sin' against the sisterhood of feminism is my utter, unadulterated love for babies. 

I have wanted to be a mom since I was a little girl, and I am so excited to have kids one day. I have no desire to be a mogul, or a CEO, or an activist. Room Mom is the highest title that I aspire to reach, and for some reason a lot of women seem to be extremely offended by this. 

Its like my dream isn't good enough, or ambitious enough and I'm a threat to the evolution of womankind. If my desire to push Girl Scout Cookies is going to topple the feminist movement, am I really the issue? How fragile is feminism if it can be taken down by a box of Thin Mints?

I will admit that I am unsure if I should be considered a feminist. I didn't go out for the Women's March, or the Women's Convention in Detroit. I don't do anything special on National Women's Day. However, I have been touched inappropriately by a male superior at work. I have been the victim of sexual assault. I've struggled to embrace my confidence and loud personality for fear that guys might not like me. I've experienced all of that and you know what? I'll be damned if my daughter ever has to go through the same thing. 

As a woman, I try to look at every other woman as a sister or a daughter. I try to spread love, give compliments, and build up the women around me. We do need marches. We do need to change laws and overthrow the outdated and offensive idea that PMS turns a woman into an unstable psychopath. But we also need to love each other on a daily basis.

We need to support one another whether your dream is to be on the PTA or in the Oval Office. We have to stop slut shaming each other, and hating each other for whatever crazy reasons we've dreamt up. We all need to love each other unconditionally, openly, and loudly. Once we embrace that, there's nothing that can stop us from changing the world.